Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
