and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
