dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
a search helicopter?!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
