got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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