Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
