Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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