That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize