Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize