you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
