I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
