guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
