I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
