I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
