those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
