rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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