Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
