my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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