im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
