Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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