It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
