i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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