They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
