Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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