It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
