Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize