love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i wish my penis had a tongue
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize