Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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