He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
