why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
