My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
This is my gift to your gina
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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