Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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