Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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