dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize