I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the day after is always just damage control
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize