yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
