OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize