You made me cry and you don't even care
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
