I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Can I color on your dick again?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Randomize
