From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
this hospital has no fireball
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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