The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
