Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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