It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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