did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
