Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
