dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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