I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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