I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
