Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
