I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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