I want to make a zoo with you.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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