No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
