He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
