Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
