I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
