i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
