It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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