Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
