Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize