Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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