When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
