ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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