Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You ate ashes out of my bong
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
