My friends, they love my intelligence
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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